Thursday, 4 July 2013
Tensions at the Tacker's Ferret
I thought it was all going very well at the ladies' darts match. Me and Beefburger were slotted cosily into one of the little drinking cubicle things to the happy sound of girly laughter and the gentle thud of darts on board, which went on for the best part of an hour, although my estimations of time may be a bit out due to the effects of a few pints of slobberjuice and also becasue I wasn't taking a lot of notice.
We were joined at some point by Sedge. Sedge, it has to be said, is a very damp sort of individual due to some kind of metabolism defect which causes his skin to leak copiously and which gives him a very shiny sort of appearance. Even on the coldest days when the fog blankets the Dale below the village and the trees drip with ice, Sedge stands waiting for his bus sans overcoat and hat, with the sweat droplets freezing in small icy spots on the pavement below the post with the timetable on it. Sedge is also a very cautious individual. he's been doing the Health and Safety at Work Act since long before the Health and Safety at Work Act was enacted. He's a very useful sounding board for whenever any kind of lad's adventure is mooted since he will be sure to point out all of the risks and dangers. Indeed, such are his capabilities in this respect that many more adventures are mooted than could ever be fitted into the most adveturous life available and its not gone unnoticed by most people that as the Tackler's Ferret evening wears on into the deep night, the suggestions for adventures get ever more adventurous and dangerous, thus allowing Sedge to shine....as it were.... since he's already pretty shiney.
And so it was that quite early in the night, I broached the subject of 'T Go Challenge even though I wasn't quite sure what it involved, except to say that it was probably about walking a long way over several days.
And camping - quite a risky occupation according to Sedge.
Sedge hummed a bit, then hahhed. Cupping his chin in his hand and raising an eyebrow he declared that he'd never heard of it, which came as a bit of a surprise.
We discussed T'Go only briefly before Beefburger, keen to get on to more interesting potential jaunts, went on to suggest using a lorry inner-tube to navigate the River Calder as far as Dewsbury, an idea which Sedge was only in the first stages of considering with a deeply furrowed brow, when the freshly-delivered tray of ham and tongue butties for the ladies darts match was noisily and suddenly upturned in some kind of outburst of darts-related violence. Beefburger's substantial form had to be used to barricade the entrance to our boozing cubicle as tables and drinks and bits of skin, hair and clothing exploded in the main bar. Beefburger managed this feat whilst still nursing , and not spilling, a full pint of dark mild. He has had some practise at this role, though, to be fair, even though most people would consider the tackler's ferret to be a fairly genteel hostelry. Except on ladies' darts nights. And that night they had the stripper.
My job for the week is to find out more about T'Go Challenge and, in particular, to report on the development, uses and purchase possibilities of tentage. It's a start , anyway.